Joke of the Day

The Secretary of Defense is briefing President Bush on Iraq. "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaims the president, "That's terrible!"
His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.
Finally, he looks up and asks,

"How many is a brazillion?"

Ummm...What?

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius. Here are a few quotes that make you say..."ummm...what?"




Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.



"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey




"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .




"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.




"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC




"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark



"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

--Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

-- Dan Quayle


"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

--Lee Iacocca


"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.



And Finally,


"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman



See how much smarter you feel?

A trip to see Bomps

One of Tasha's favorite activities is a bath in the whirlpool! I guess it really wasn't a bath!

Kyra really likes the whirlpool as well!

The three Bill's: William Kurt, William Joeseph, William Kent. Here is a game: Spot the Mormon!

The three kids together! Tasha, Billy, Kyra.

Dad and his three kids ! Gotta love it!

Bomps, Bill, Tasha, Kyra and Billy. What a good looking group!

Thank you Maggie for taking the pics!

Beach Ball Ejection

Really? Was it necessary? Do they really cause problems? This article was in the Phoenix Business Journal. The Los Angeles Dodgers came to town for a weekend series with our Diamondbacks. A good crowd attended, mostly D-back fans, but of course, Dodger blue migrated to the valley to see their team. Apparently, Dodger fans exclusively, like to bring beach balls into the stadium to knock around during the game. Now I do not know the policy concerning these beach balls, but as long as they do not wind up on the field regularly, shouldn't they be allowed? Isn't that part of the fun they try to promote so you will go to a game?

Ushers at stadium entrances had fans take off their caps and hats and inspected bags. Just to find the beach balls? Isn't is overkill?

D-backs spokeswoman Catherine Herman said ushers were checking for the beach balls that Dodgers fans like to bring to games. Shouldn't they be more concerned with other think that can actually harm us?

I think that the beach balls shouldn't be a focused issue. By trying to eliminate them, aren't you encouraging them to bring more and sneak them?

They eluded to the fact that it was the Dodger's fans. If I wear Diamondback colors, can I bring a beach ball in? If this is the case, do we now have to have everyone undress to see if they have Dodger blue on underneath Diamondback red?

I just think its sad that they try to regulate something like this. I am sure they have better, more pressing things to attend to.

Histirical Origins of the "Finger"

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

Now you know...