Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the leastaccessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directlyproportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get abusy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work becauseyou had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one youwere in will always move faster than the one you are in now (worksevery time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you knowincreases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to beseen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machinewon't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inverselyproportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthestfrom the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,your boss will ask you to do something which will last until thecoffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a lockerroom, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwichlanding face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to thenewness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find aproduct that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make anappointment and you'll stay sick.
The law of physical surfaces...
ReplyDelete(a rewrite, because nobody really eats jelly sandwiches) the chances of an animal or child pooping or peeing on a carpeted area is directly proportional to the lightness in color and will happen on the most recently shampooed area of said carpet.
Law of Dating: the number of complications the day of a date with your spouse is directly proportional to the number of years that you have been married.