1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:
"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
(Now that is beautiful)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."
And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:
“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”
15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."
1 comment:
Ugh, where to start and do I even bother? Oh yes, yes I will (just to amuse you!)
1."copulate" verb (used without object): to engage in sexual intercourse. Mr. Dawson, you may go to prison if dem kids take you up on that wan(t).
2. Mr. Rogers, get a number line or a math tutor.
3.I'm glad I'm not either of their mothers.
4. Can't stop chucking.
5. Pick a genious, buddy. Either the artist or the scientist.
6. Give the guy a break. "on time" could simply mean before his basketball career is over and he has to get a real job.
7. If I look at it again to comment I won't be able to go on. I finally gained composure after a crying fit of laughter and now my stomach is killing me. Whew!
8. I don't comment on Mikey.
9. Um, Stu, I've got an opening. Your name is phonetic, not so hard.
10. Which is stupider: the boxer or the trainer?
11. Oh Chuck, anatomy class... look in your pants, my friend.
12. Now THAT is a smart player with a sense of humor!
13. I'll just assume the subject he was referring to was basketball.
14. Charlie, when they start the underwater basketball season, I'll be sure to tune in.
15. No doubt his first name is a nickname given to him by his WIFE!
OK, back to #7... (sing with me)
"A,B,C,D...you're taller than me...H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P...he's so short, you're so tall, I'm inbetween...Y AND Z." I don't know where the confusion might lie.
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