Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Go Cubbies !!!!

The Chicago Cubs are having a great year. They are in 1st place in their division People are starting to believe. There is no bigger believer than my father. I will continue to cheer and hope that the Cubs can pull it off just for my father's sake. But, we must remember....

Twenty major events that have occurred since the Chicago Cubs last laid claim to a World Series championship:

1. Radio was invented; Cubs fans got to hear their team lose.

2. TV was invented; Cubs fans got to see their team lose.

3. Baseball added 14 teams; Cubs fans get to see and hear their team lose to more clubs.

4. George Burns celebrated his 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th birthdays.

5. Haley's comet passed Earth... twice.

6. Harry Caray was born....and died. Incredible, but true.

7. The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and Chicago teams won championships in each league.

8. Man landed on the moon, as have several home runs given up by Cubs pitchers.

9. Sixteen U.S. presidents were elected.

10. There were 11 amendments added to the Constitution.

11. Prohibition was created and repealed.

12. The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, was discovered and became the subject of major motion pictures, the latest giving Cubs fans hope that something that finishes on the bottom can come out on top.

13. Wrigley Field was built and becomes the oldest park in the National League.

14. Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. Those flag poles have since rusted and been taken down.

15. A combination of 40 Summer and Winter Olympics have been held.

16. Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; several thanked Cubs pitchers.

17. Bell-bottoms came in style, went out of style and came back in.

18. The Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and the Florida Marlins have all won the World Series.

19. The Cubs played 14,153 regular-season games; they lost the majority of them.

20. Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma and New Mexico were added to the Union.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Einstein's Riddle

- In a street there are five houses, painted five different colors.
- In each house lives a person of different nationality.
- These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.
Einstein's riddle is: Who owns the fish?
Necessary clues:
1. The British man lives in a red house.

2. The Swedish man keeps dogs as pets.

3. The Danish man drinks tea.

4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.

5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.

6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.

7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.

11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.

12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.

15. The Blends smoker lives next to the one who drinks water.
Who owns the fish?

You Know You're From Arizona If...

You buy salsa by the gallon.

Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".

You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

Every other vehicle is a 4x4.

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.

You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

Most homes have more firearms than people.

Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be

from out-of-state or nuts.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

The AC is on your list of best friends.

Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.

You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo".

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.

You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.

You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.

Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......"

When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.

Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.

You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Who am I?

Can you imagine working for this company?

It has over 500 employees with the following statistics...

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have bankrupted at least two businesses

3 have been arrested for assault

71 can not get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are current defendants in lawsuits

In 1998 alone. 84 were stopped for drunk driving?

Can you guess which organization this is?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Blue Laws

Blue Law:
One of a body of laws in colonial New England designed to enforce certain moral standards and particularly to prohibit specified forms of entertainment or recreation on Sundays. This was the original intention, but somehow, some blue laws strayed from the original purpose. Although most blue laws have been overturned, there are a few that are still on the books. Most of them are pretty stupid! Did you know in Arizona:

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (OK, this one make a little sense, but 25 years?)

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

Hunting camels is prohibited.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.


Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.


Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.


A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.

It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.


It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.

Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.
More to come....

Monday, July 14, 2008

Shift Happens

Tuesday, July 14th 1964


Year End Close Dow Jones Industrial Average 874

Average Cost of new house $13,050.00

Average Income per year $6,000.00

Gas per Gallon 30 cents

Average Cost of a new car $3,500.00

Loaf of bread 21 cents

United States Postage Stamp 5 cents

Average Monthly Rent $115.00

Ticket to the movies $1.25

What Events Happened in 1964

Cassius Clay Beats Sonny Liston for World Heavyweight championship

The Boston Strangler is captured

The first Ford Mustang from Ford Motor Company is made.

Nelson Mandela and seven others are sentenced to life imprisonment in South Africa

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr receives the Nobel Peace Prize

The Civil Rights Act of 1964 is signed into law by President Johnson.

U.S. Surgeon General reports that smoking may lead to lung cancer

Jack Ruby is convicted of the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald, the alleged assassin of President Kennedy

Sidney Poitier becomes the first black actor to win the "best actor" Oscar

The Rolling Stones release debut album, "The Rolling Stones"

The Beatles make their first appearances on the Ed Sullivan Show

The Beatles hold the top five positions in the Billboard Top 40 singles in America

Hasbro launches G.I. Joe, an action figure for boys to join the Barbie Doll For Girls

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is published written by Roald Dahl

BASIC (Beginners' All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code), an easy to learn high level programming language is introduced.

Sony introduces the first VCR Home Video Recorder

The first driver less train runs on London Underground

The State Department told the press that 40 hidden microphones had been found in the U.S. Embassy in Moscow.

Actress Elizabeth Taylor and actor Richard Burton were married for the first time getting divorced in June 1974 only to get married again in October 1975 which lasts less than 12 months.

The third major World's Fair to be held in New York City opens . It was the largest World's Fair ever held in the United States, occupying nearly a square mile (2.6 km²) of land. and more fifty million people attend the Fair

The president of the powerful American Teamsters union James Hoffa is found guilty and sentenced to eight years on bribery charges

Joe Frazier, the future heavyweight champion of the world, won a gold medal for the USA in heavyweight boxing

People who share my Birthday:

Missy Gold
Harry Dean Stanton
Ingmar Bergman
Gerald R. Ford
Jimmy Hoffa
William Hanna
Tom Carvel
Paul Guilfoyle

Monday, July 7, 2008

A Fantastic 4th !!!

The week prior to the 4th, my family deserted me to go to a family reunion. For me it was a lazy week, working overtime to make some extra money (11 hour days take a toll), and eating cheese crisps. I did get some stuff done around the house, but clearly not enough. At least I did not leave the house in worse shape than when the family left. As it turned out, I was sick the 1st weekend they were gone. By the time that I was going to drive up to meet them in Forest Lakes for the 2nd weekend, I was missing them terribly. I got off of work on the 3rd and braved the traffic up to Payson. It was smooth sailing until I got to Payson. There was bumper to bumper traffic from the outskirts of town until the turnoff at the famous McDonald's. A quick stop at the Safeway and I was on my way. Finally, I arrive and meet my family. Helena was first to greet me because she recognized the taillight on the van from far away. It was a nice treat to talk to her before the kids got to me. The girls were so excited to see me they came running and screaming out to meet me! It really hit me how much I missed them! We actually stayed in a cabin about a mile away from Helena's mom's house. It was a woodsy cabin, no phone, TV, or Internet. Card games seem to be a staple in settings like this. As of late, our family has been addicted to playing solitaire. Our favorite is either double or triple solitaire. To take a break from that, we would play games of go fish with Tasha. It was nice to get out of the heat and enjoy some cooler weather. As usual, it rained every day. It amazes me that they have severe forest fire danger signs with as much rain as they seem to get. The reason we like to go up this time of year is for the fireworks show in Heber. It is always on the Saturday after the forth. This year we got to the show about 7pm, two hours before the show was to begin. It is held in the middle of a ball field complex. We were able to set up our blanket and chairs and just hang out. Lots of people get there much earlier and set up camp complete with EZ up's and all the stuff that goes with it. There is a DJ who plays music and lots of booths to buy food. It is just a lot of fun to hang out with family and relax. I don't think there is a bad seat in the place. We set up less than 100 yards where the fireworks are set off. It is a pretty amazing show. It lasts about 30 minutes and has a pretty good finale. As we continue to watch the show, our kids cheering in the background, you can actually feel the paper ash from the exploded fireworks floating down. The show is good enough that by the end, you don't even mind paying the $5 "donation" to park. Everyone loved it and had a good time. We had a lazy day on Sunday, had dinner at Momo's, and headed back to the valley Sunday afternoon. Traffic was so bad at this point that it took us nearly 90 minutes to get to Payson from Forest Lakes. It is normally a 30 minute drive. It was also pouring rain the whole time. Twice Helena was sure is was hailing, but they were just huge rain drops! I am sure it rained more during that 90 minute drive than it will rain all year in the valley. Once we got to Payson, all the traffic went away. We are not sure where it went, we were just glad it disappeared. Back to the Valley, and back to real life. No more sleeping 9+ hours each night and no more sleeping in. All in all, we had a great 4th of July!