Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
- In a street there are five houses, painted five different colors.
- In each house lives a person of different nationality.
- These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.
Einstein's riddle is: Who owns the fish?
1. The British man lives in a red house.
You buy salsa by the gallon.
Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.
You think a red light is merely a suggestion.
All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.
You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.
Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".
You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.
You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.
You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
Every other vehicle is a 4x4.
You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.
Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.
People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.
You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You can make sun tea instantly.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
Most homes have more firearms than people.
Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"
People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
The AC is on your list of best friends.
Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.
The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.
You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo".
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.
You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.
You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.
Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......"
When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.
Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.
You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
One of a body of laws in colonial New England designed to enforce certain moral standards and particularly to prohibit specified forms of entertainment or recreation on Sundays. This was the original intention, but somehow, some blue laws strayed from the original purpose. Although most blue laws have been overturned, there are a few that are still on the books. Most of them are pretty stupid! Did you know in Arizona:
Monday, July 14, 2008
Monday, July 7, 2008
The week prior to the 4th, my family deserted me to go to a family reunion. For me it was a lazy week, working overtime to make some extra money (11 hour days take a toll), and eating cheese crisps. I did get some stuff done around the house, but clearly not enough. At least I did not leave the house in worse shape than when the family left. As it turned out, I was sick the 1st weekend they were gone. By the time that I was going to drive up to meet them in Forest Lakes for the 2nd weekend, I was missing them terribly. I got off of work on the 3rd and braved the traffic up to Payson. It was smooth sailing until I got to Payson. There was bumper to bumper traffic from the outskirts of town until the turnoff at the famous McDonald's. A quick stop at the Safeway and I was on my way. Finally, I arrive and meet my family. Helena was first to greet me because she recognized the taillight on the van from far away. It was a nice treat to talk to her before the kids got to me. The girls were so excited to see me they came running and screaming out to meet me! It really hit me how much I missed them! We actually stayed in a cabin about a mile away from Helena's mom's house. It was a woodsy cabin, no phone, TV, or Internet. Card games seem to be a staple in settings like this. As of late, our family has been addicted to playing solitaire. Our favorite is either double or triple solitaire. To take a break from that, we would play games of go fish with Tasha. It was nice to get out of the heat and enjoy some cooler weather. As usual, it rained every day. It amazes me that they have severe forest fire danger signs with as much rain as they seem to get. The reason we like to go up this time of year is for the fireworks show in Heber. It is always on the Saturday after the forth. This year we got to the show about 7pm, two hours before the show was to begin. It is held in the middle of a ball field complex. We were able to set up our blanket and chairs and just hang out. Lots of people get there much earlier and set up camp complete with EZ up's and all the stuff that goes with it. There is a DJ who plays music and lots of booths to buy food. It is just a lot of fun to hang out with family and relax. I don't think there is a bad seat in the place. We set up less than 100 yards where the fireworks are set off. It is a pretty amazing show. It lasts about 30 minutes and has a pretty good finale. As we continue to watch the show, our kids cheering in the background, you can actually feel the paper ash from the exploded fireworks floating down. The show is good enough that by the end, you don't even mind paying the $5 "donation" to park. Everyone loved it and had a good time. We had a lazy day on Sunday, had dinner at Momo's, and headed back to the valley Sunday afternoon. Traffic was so bad at this point that it took us nearly 90 minutes to get to Payson from Forest Lakes. It is normally a 30 minute drive. It was also pouring rain the whole time. Twice Helena was sure is was hailing, but they were just huge rain drops! I am sure it rained more during that 90 minute drive than it will rain all year in the valley. Once we got to Payson, all the traffic went away. We are not sure where it went, we were just glad it disappeared. Back to the Valley, and back to real life. No more sleeping 9+ hours each night and no more sleeping in. All in all, we had a great 4th of July!