Why Professional Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:

"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."



2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."



3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say:

"I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"

Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."



4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.."



5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."



6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

(Now that is beautiful)



7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:

"You guys line up alphabetically by height.."

And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."



8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."



9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."



10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."



11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)



12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:

"I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"



13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."



14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford:

“I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious.”



15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,

Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

Thank you Ben Stein...

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish.

And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those

beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees... I don't

feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's

what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to

me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to

put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It

shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy

time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger

scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu

. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is

the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't

think Christians like getting pushed around for being

Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and

tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where

the concept came from, that America is an

explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the

Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from

that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship

God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm

getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering

where these celebrities came from and where the America

we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this

is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke;

it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane

Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?'

(regarding Hurricane Katrina).. Anne Graham gave an extremely

profound and insightful response.. She said, 'I believe God is

deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been

telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government

and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I

believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to

give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us

alone?'

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings,

etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she

was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't

want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said

you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou

shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as

yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when

they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped

and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed

suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking

about.. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why

they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to

kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure

it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT

WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why

the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the

newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how

you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire,

but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people

think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and

obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion

of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to

many on your address list because you're not sure what they

believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of

us than what God thinks of us.

Top Dollar !

Ever wondwer what the best of the best get paid?  These numbers are Salary only, for 1 year

Sport                                          Athlete                                                                                 Money


Auto Racing                               Kimi Raikkonen                                                                    $26,333,333

Baseball                                     Alex Rodriguez                                                                      $32,000,000

Basketball                                  Kobe Bryant                                                                         $24,800,000

Beach Volleyball (Men)              Philip Dalhausser/Todd Rogers                                                   $387,700

Beach Volleyball (Women)         Larissa Franca/Juliana Felisberta Da Silva                                   $351,300

Billiards (Men)                           Darren Appleton                                                                         $118,494

Billiards (Women)                      Ga-Young Kim                                                                             $67,930

Bowling (Men)                           Walter Ray Williams Jr.                                                              $152,670

Bowling (Women)                      Shannon Pluhowsky                                                                     $40,300

Boxing                                        Manny Pacquiao                                                                   $32,000,000

Bull Riding                                  Renato Nunes                                                                         $1,594,527

Darts                                          Phil Taylor                                                                              $1,044,000

Distance Running (Men)              Samuel Wanjiru                                                                         $617,000

Distance Running (Women)         Liliya Shobukhova                                                                     $695,000

Drag Racing                                Larry Dixon                                                                            $1,371,000

Eating                                         Joey Chestnut                                                                            $218,500

Equestrian (Men)                       McLain Ward                                                                          $1,280,788

Equestrian (Women)                  Laura Kraut                                                                                $627,907

Fishing                                       Kevin Vandam                                                                           $915,500

Football                                     Peyton Manning                                                                     $15,800,000

Golf (Men)                                Luke Donald                                                                            $5,867,601

Golf (Women)                           Na Yeon Choi                                                                         $1,871,165

Hockey (Tie)                            Vincent Lecavalier                                                                  $10,000,000

                                                 Roberto Luongo                                                                     $10,000,000

Horse Racing (Jockey)              Ramon A. Dominguez                                                             $17,411,880

MMA                                       Brock Lesnar                                                                           $5,300,000

Poker                                       Jonathan Duhamel                                                                     $9,443,519

Racquetball                              Kane Waselenchuk                                                                      $300,000

Rodeo                                      Trevor Brazile                                                                              $507,920

Skiing (Men)                            Ivica Kostelic                                                                               $464,440

Skiing (Women)                       Lindsey Vonn                                                                               $509,542

Sled Dog                                 John Baker                                                                                     $50,400

Soccer                                    Cristiano Ronaldo                                                                     $19,500,000

Squash                                    Nick Matthew                                                                               $166,926

Sumo                                      Hakuho                                                                                         $400,000

Surfing (Men)                          Kelly Slater                                                                                   $516,000

Surfing (Women)                     Stephanie Gilmore                                                                         $140,700

Tennis (Men)                           Rafael Nadal                                                                            $10,171,998

Tennis (Women)                      Kim Clijsters                                                                              $5,035,060

Triathlon (Men)                       Tim Don                                                                                        $223,600

Triathlon (Women)                  Emma Snowsill                                                                              $239,800

Choosing a Response

My ability to respond to a world,

Over which I have no control,

Is a powerful gift.

If I crumble in the face of adversity,

I have chosen to be

Weak and beaten down.

If I soar to the heights of happiness,

I have chosen to fly.

Situations will choose me,

But they will never own me.

How I react to them will always

Be a matter of my own choice.