Go Cubbies !!!!

The Chicago Cubs are having a great year. They are in 1st place in their division People are starting to believe. There is no bigger believer than my father. I will continue to cheer and hope that the Cubs can pull it off just for my father's sake. But, we must remember....

Twenty major events that have occurred since the Chicago Cubs last laid claim to a World Series championship:

1. Radio was invented; Cubs fans got to hear their team lose.

2. TV was invented; Cubs fans got to see their team lose.

3. Baseball added 14 teams; Cubs fans get to see and hear their team lose to more clubs.

4. George Burns celebrated his 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th and 100th birthdays.

5. Haley's comet passed Earth... twice.

6. Harry Caray was born....and died. Incredible, but true.

7. The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and Chicago teams won championships in each league.

8. Man landed on the moon, as have several home runs given up by Cubs pitchers.

9. Sixteen U.S. presidents were elected.

10. There were 11 amendments added to the Constitution.

11. Prohibition was created and repealed.

12. The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, was discovered and became the subject of major motion pictures, the latest giving Cubs fans hope that something that finishes on the bottom can come out on top.

13. Wrigley Field was built and becomes the oldest park in the National League.

14. Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants. Those flag poles have since rusted and been taken down.

15. A combination of 40 Summer and Winter Olympics have been held.

16. Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown; several thanked Cubs pitchers.

17. Bell-bottoms came in style, went out of style and came back in.

18. The Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and the Florida Marlins have all won the World Series.

19. The Cubs played 14,153 regular-season games; they lost the majority of them.

20. Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma and New Mexico were added to the Union.

Einstein's Riddle

- In a street there are five houses, painted five different colors.
- In each house lives a person of different nationality.
- These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.
Einstein's riddle is: Who owns the fish?
Necessary clues:
1. The British man lives in a red house.

2. The Swedish man keeps dogs as pets.

3. The Danish man drinks tea.

4. The Green house is next to, and on the left of the White house.

5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.

6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.

7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The man living in the center house drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.

11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.

12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.

15. The Blends smoker lives next to the one who drinks water.

Who owns the fish?

You Know You're From Arizona If...

You buy salsa by the gallon.

Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and l00 paper bags.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

All of your out-of-state friends start to visit after October but clear out come the end of April.

You think someone driving wearing oven mitts is clever.

Most of the restaurants in town have the first name "El" or "Los".

You think 60 tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard.

You've signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can't remember the name of the incumbent.

You notice your car overheating before you drive it.

Your house is made of stucco and has a red clay tile roof.

You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.

You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.

You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

You can say 115 degrees without fainting.

Every other vehicle is a 4x4.

You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over 100 degrees.

Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer.

People break out coats when temperature drops below 70 degrees.

You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.

Most homes have more firearms than people.

Kids will ask, "What's a mosquito?"

People who have black cars or black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be

from out-of-state or nuts.

You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

The AC is on your list of best friends.

Monday Night Football starts at 7:00 instead of 6:00.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You can finish a Big Gulp in 10 minutes and go back for seconds.

The water from the cold water tap is the same temperature as the hot one.

You can (correctly) pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Ocotillo", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Ajo".

It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is walking on the streets.

You experience third degree burns if you touch any metal part of your car.

You know better than to get into a car with leather seats if you're wearing shorts.

Announcements for Fourth of July events never end with "in case of rain......"

When someone asks how far you live from a location, it's always in terms of minutes, not miles.

Everyone's smiling and talking about the great weather on rainy days.

You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time.

Who am I?

Can you imagine working for this company?

It has over 500 employees with the following statistics...

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have bankrupted at least two businesses

3 have been arrested for assault

71 can not get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are current defendants in lawsuits

In 1998 alone. 84 were stopped for drunk driving?

Can you guess which organization this is?

Most Exciting play in baseball...

http://mlb.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200807203164278

Blue Laws

Blue Law:
One of a body of laws in colonial New England designed to enforce certain moral standards and particularly to prohibit specified forms of entertainment or recreation on Sundays. This was the original intention, but somehow, some blue laws strayed from the original purpose. Although most blue laws have been overturned, there are a few that are still on the books. Most of them are pretty stupid! Did you know in Arizona:

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony.

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (OK, this one make a little sense, but 25 years?)

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

It is illegal to manufacture imitation cocaine.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

Hunting camels is prohibited.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

Alabama:

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Alaska:

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

Owners of flamingos may not let their pet into barber shops.

Arkansas:

A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

Honking one’s car horn at a sandwich shop after 9 PM is against the law.

It is unlawful to walk one’s cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

California:

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

It is illegal to own a green or smelly animal hide.

Bowling on the sidewalk is illegal.

More to come....

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