Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!
3 comments:
1. A woman WILL be president.
2. You talk on the phone longer than I do usually. And the longest conversations I have are with Larry, a guy.
3. A guy taught me, "lefty loosey, righty tighty" while he was trying to figure out which way to screw in a bolt. (Do you really want to have the nut/bolt discussion with ME?)
4. Being unable to see wrinkles in your clothes doesn't make you happier, just sloppier.
5. You have to shave your neck EVERY DAY. I'm sure if you add up the square footage and number of repetitions, women would come out on top for that one.
6. One mood all the time? And what would that mood be?
I have to disagree with these lines:
You know stuff about tanks.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
Maybe I've just got too much testosterone but I tend to stare at all different mens body parts and the chest is definitely one of them when a guy is talking to me (excluding family of course, and you're like family so stop worrying about what I stare at when I talk to you Bill). My husband is fair game. I can stare at his chest all I want and he can't say anything about it. So there's my disagreement. I think women are just trickier at staring.
Oops, I forgot to talk about the tanks (I was picturing Hugh Jackman and staring at his chest). I've never once heard a guy talk about tanks so how does knowing about them make one happy? Just curious. Now, back to Hugh Jackman and his chest . . . that's a good conversation!
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