The Man who Falls...

Somehow, I have come to be the guy that falls.  I never used to be that guy, but over the years, I have evolved.  Most recently, I was walking from my car to work, and somehow, I fell.  Right out of the blue.  I didn't trip, try to jump, or slip.  I fell.  I did step funny on my foot somehow, and twisted my ankle.  Instincts kicked in, so as not to do more damage to the ankle, down I went.  Like a sack of wet cement.  Now I didn't stay down, because I was embarrassed, and I thought bouncing up quickly was the best action to avoid people worrying that I was hurt.  To my surprise, no one was around.  I didn't realize how badly I had twisted the ankle until the next morning, when I had trouble walking

. 

Example # 2 comes at a Church activity.  This was pretty embarrassing.  We had gone to the function with the kids and were working our way around different stations, each with a different activity. The outside activity was designed to be harmless.  Clearly, the activity people didn’t think of me.  The activity?  Spitting watermelon seeds.  Now, you wonder, how does anyone fall spitting watermelon seeds? The people in charge were marking the top seeds that had traveled the farthest.  My first attempt, with moderate effort, only missed the best spit by about a foot.  I figured with a little effort, I could beat the record.  So, I took the seed, inhaled deeply, took a couple of steps to get a good start, and when I planted my foot, manages to catch my shoe on the ground and tumbled forward.  Now if you know me, tumbled is not really accurate.  I staggered and fell.  Like a sack of wet cement.  My wife, usually understanding, didn't stick around to make sure I was OK.  She has seen me fall all too often.  She just turned and walked back into the building. 

Example # 3 was years ago, but worth mentioning.  We were playing a softball game and I was on first base (Yes I managed to hit the ball to get on).  The guy who hit after me hit the ball to the outfield and managed to get it buy the fielder.  I ran to second base and saw the fielder miss the ball, so I rounded the base and headed to third.  Then it happened.  As I rounded 2^nd base, I somehow managed to stumble.  I tried with all my might to regain my balance, to no luck.  I made the decision to tuck and roll, end the fall, and head back to 2^nd base.  I got up, ran back and slid into the base trying to avoid the tag out.  To my surprise, the guy who had hit the ball had glided into second base with a double.  One of us was going to be out.  I did the right thing and ran off the field, with everyone on the field, in the dugout, and in the stands, laughing.  Yes I had slid into short.  A story that is still remembered like it was yesterday. 

So, the next time you see me, remember all the painful falls I have had, and do your best not to laugh.  Or at least hold it in until I am gone.