Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the leastaccessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directlyproportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers: If you dial a wrong number, you never get abusy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work becauseyou had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one youwere in will always move faster than the one you are in now (worksevery time).
Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you knowincreases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to beseen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machinewon't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inverselyproportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater: At any event, the people whose seats are furthestfrom the aisle arrive last.
The Starbucks Law: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,your boss will ask you to do something which will last until thecoffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a lockerroom, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwichlanding face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to thenewness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law of Physical Appearance: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law of Public Speaking: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy: As soon as you find aproduct that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors' Law: If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make anappointment and you'll stay sick.
1 comment:
The law of physical surfaces...
(a rewrite, because nobody really eats jelly sandwiches) the chances of an animal or child pooping or peeing on a carpeted area is directly proportional to the lightness in color and will happen on the most recently shampooed area of said carpet.
Law of Dating: the number of complications the day of a date with your spouse is directly proportional to the number of years that you have been married.
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